My goodness, somebody protect the train horn. And playing dirty and picking fights! Goodness gracious, how appalling. Why would one have such expectations? I'd hire we some special forces people, pay them big money, like minimum wage or something. The military doesn't pay our soldiers very much under the present ruler, so they need some extra money, and they would have heavy weaponry to protect that horn. And as far as dirty play, I would just ask for a meeting with the officials before the game, and let them know the other team is made up of a bunch of cheating, dirty playing, non-church goers, and they need to be supervised appropriately. That should handle it.