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Update from Dinwiddie!

DinwiddieProud

VaPreps All State
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Dec 9, 2013
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The contractor stated today that the new domed stadium for the Dinwiddie Generals will be completed ahead of schedule. The team can begin "on field" practices as soon as the VHSL regulations permit.

Also today, it was announced that Tony Dungee has resigned from his TV analyst job to become the latest addition to the Dinwiddie coaching staff. With that, Coach Dungee has talked Peyton Manning into retiring and becoming a volunteer quarterbacks coach.

The addition of Manning is not without some controversity though. Dinwiddie's new transfer, 6' 2", 293lb running back Bart McCullock has expressed his worries that he may not get the number of carries he was expecting with the new emphasis on the passing game. He has been assured that the offense will be a balanced attack, and that he and his younger cousin, 5' 8", 272lb fullback Troy McCullock will get their carries.

Along with the the statement of reassurance of a balanced attack was the announcement that both of the Kepler twins will be eligible to play this season. Rashaad Kepler, and his identical twin Marvin recently relocated to Dinwiddie from Texas. The addition of these two "twin towers" as they have been labeled, gives the Dinwiddie receiving corp as much height as many NBA teams. At 7' 2" the Kepler twins stand a head taller than all but three other Dinwiddie receivers.

The offensive line has also matured into a force to be dealt with this season.. Averaging 323lbs across the five interior linemen, the team has given them the collective name of "The Wall". Along with their size and agility, speed does not seem to be an issue. Only the two McCullock boys and three of the veteran safeties on the team performed better consistantly in the 40.

The Head Coach was quick to point out that though improvement is hoped for this year, he still knows there is a lot of work to be done. He states that all of the kids are completely healthy so far this year, and the dedication to conditioning has been impressive. Without revealing any names, he stated that six kids are bench pressing over 800lbs with regularity. Coach hopes to continue this trend and have every off season lift record broken by August.

Come out and enjoy our new stadium. The roof will usually be left open to maintain the feel of real high school Friday night football. Parking is ample, 62,000 parking spaces, with 37 shuttle buses running constantly to carry the fans to the stadium. Ticket prices will remain the same this year, and the stadium chef promises the concessions will be better than ever. We look forward to seeing you.

So long from Dinwiddie until April 1st next year!

DP
 
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They still won't beat Salem
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Of course not Hammy. Remember? Salem has that army of recruiters that spread out across the state and steal everyone's talented players, ie., the aforementioned 8th grader.
 
Years ago, the Blackstone Courier Record would always fill the front page with news that was absurb, but believable enough to make you wonder. It only happened if publication day fell on April 1.

So, I can of be accused of plagiarism I guess. But what the heck, I enjoyed writing it even if nobody else enjoyed reading it.

You still living up in Maryland Shaunty? Hope your mom is still doing well.
 
Mom's 90. Pop's is about to turn 93. Mom's significantly slowed since the hip replacement. Pop's Alzheimer's and already belligerent nature make him very difficult to deal with. His legs barely support his weight. My sisters help when they can. Bought a small house so I can get a break once in awhile and am enjoying my 2 block walk to work at Washington College in Chestertown. Also spending time as an assistant Coach for the girls Softball team. Had no idea I was so out of shape. It was pretty pathetic at first. I've been sore this whole month and the bruises form muscle tears is more than I've ever seen on anyone before. Getting old sucks.

It's not plagiarism if you didn't copy someone else's work. You just used an already popular idea that is probably public domain at this point. GL in 2015.
 
You have my thoughts and prayers. Being a care giver is a very tough task. When it is your parents, there is no describing the emotional toll. I wish there was more I could say, but just know I empathize with what you are going through.

There are some good things about growing old, but one of them is certainly your body. Show thoses girls that an old man can overcome adversity. (Even if it hurts a lot!).

Not plagiarism? Good. Thank God for freedom of the press.

And good luck to you also, my friend. May we have many years of banter left in both of us.

DP
 
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